Satirical Political Beliefs Test

I was emailed the following satirical political quiz that you may enjoy…

A SATIRICAL POLITICAL BELIEFS ASSESSMENT TEST: A Humorous Political Party Quiz to Test If You’re an Archconservative, Leftwing Wacko, Antigovernment Libertine or a Commie Sympathizer

Five Sample Test Questions Follow: ==========================================

Key to abbreviations in test questions that follow:
CONS: Conservative (Archconservative)
LIBL: Liberal (Leftwing Wacko)
LBRT: Libertarian (Antigovernment Libertine)
COMM: Communist (Commie Sympathizer)
==========================================

1: Government’s practice of stealing from the rich to give to the poor is…
CONS: a crime.
LIBL: a brave, generous and heroic deed.
LBRT: a foolish, misguided attempt at social engineering.
COMM: an inspiration to us all.
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7: The Center for Public-Health Dietary Self Control releases a study that says eating just one jelly donut is as harmful to human health as smoking 10,000,000 cartons of cigarettes. Do you…
CONS: keep eating jelly donuts.
LIBL: demand that jelly donuts be removed from vending machines, and public school cafeterias.
LBRT: hoard jelly donuts before they are regulated off grocer’s shelves.
COMM: hoard jelly donuts so you can sell them on the black market.
==========================================

10: What techniques are best for maintaining discipline in the classroom?
CONS: If just one student misbehaves, severely punish the entire class.
LIBL: Force boys who refuse to settle down to take psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac.
LBRT: Anyone who doesn’t want to be in class can leave.
COMM: Anyone who doesn’t want to be in class can be made an example of.
==========================================

20: What’s the best way to stop people from illegally crossing our borders?
CONS: Seal the borders so no one can get in.
LIBL: Do nothing to beef up security at the borders, and offer illegal aliens a wide array of free services.
LBRT: Allow unrestricted passage across the borders.
COMM: Seal the borders so no one can get out.
==========================================

21: How would you define the word “profit”?
CONS: What business owners earn by selling a quality product at a competitive price.
LIBL: What business owners RIP-OFF from their customers.
LBRT: What business owners are rewarded with for risking the loss of their own money.
COMM: What business owners RIP-OFF from their employees. ==========================================

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